You're Getting a Bath
by MobBob
Summary: Johanna's refusal to bathe forces Katniss to take matters into her own hands.
1. Chapter 1

Johanna walked down the hall, past the bathrooms. She looked around. No one was there. Johanna reached into her pocket and pulled out the note Katniss had left her. It asked Johanna be there at this exact time. Johanna began to wonder if this was some kind of prank when suddenly Katniss pounced on her and tackled her to the ground. "What is wrong with you Brainless?"

"You're getting a bath!" said Katniss.

Johanna spat in Katniss's face. "No!"

Katniss wiped the spit off of her. "You stink. We all can smell you for miles. For the sake of the revolution, you're getting a bath whether you like it or not."

"You're gonna have to catch me first." Johanna wiggled out from under Katniss and ran as fast as she could.

Katniss chased after her. Johanna turned around and tried to kick her. Katniss grabbed her leg and yanked her to the ground. Katniss tried to pin Johanna to the floor, but she flailed her arms around wildly. Katniss had to cover her face to protect it from Johanna's fist. Johanna took this as her queue to get away. This time Katniss didn't let her. She caught up to Johanna quickly and put her in a sleeper hold. Johanna struggled for a bit, but after a while she went limp. Katniss relaxed her hold. This was a mistake. Johanna proceeded to deliver a swift punch to Katniss's face.

Katniss hunched over, blood coming from her nose. "Damn you!"

Johanna charged Katniss and pinned her against the wall. "I'm not taking a bath. Do you hear that? I am never taking another bath again."

"Yes you are!" Katniss kneed Johanna in the stomach.

"No I'm not!" Johanna threw another punch at Katniss, but Katniss blocked it.

Katniss grabbed Johanna by the shoulders and pushed her against the wall. "Are we going to do this the easy way or the hard way?"

Johanna responded by biting Katniss's shoulder. She managed to escape Katniss's grip, but this time she didn't run. Instead she held out her hands and made scratching motions at Katniss. "Okay, here's what's gonna happen. You're gonna let me go on my merry way. If you don't, I'll scratch you and you can catch whatever's been growing under my fingernails. Understand?"

Katniss backed off. "Okay, I understand. Let's calm down. Let's not do anything hasty. I'm letting you go."

"Good." Johanna backed away slowly, her fingernails still bared. "I knew you weren't entirely brainless."

Just then Cressida jumped out and took Johanna by surprise. She was able to quickly restrain Johanna's hands and held her from behind. "I've got her."

"What took you so long?" said Katniss.

"I thought you had everything under control," said Cressida.

"Seriously?" said Katniss.

Meanwhile, Johanna struggled to escape from Cressida's grip. She tried to stomp on Cressida's feet. "Stop that!"

"Here, I've got this." Katniss went up to Johanna and grabbed her by the feet. "Okay, on my count. Three...Two...One."

Katniss pulled Johanna's feet out from under her, and the two of them carried her to the bathroom. Unable to move any of her limbs, Johanna resisted as best she could by spitting at the two. Cressida got the worst of it. "Gross, you got some in my eye."

She went to wipe it off. "Don't let go of her hand," said Katniss.

"But it's in my eye," said Cressida.

"Alright," said Katniss. "Then don't come crying to me when she escapes."

"Fine." Cressida tried to ignore the spit on her face. Eventually she found a towel and rubbed her face on it. "Did I get it?"

"Yeah," Katniss lied. "Let's get this over with."

The two hauled Johanna into a nearby shower. Johanna grinned. "You guys do realize you'll have to strip me naked, right?"

"Not at the moment." Katniss turned on the shower with her elbow. A scalding stream of water hit the three.

"Oh god!" Cressida almost let go of Johanna.

"Sorry, so sorry." Katniss's elbow played around with the water until the temperature was more suitable. Once the water had cooled to a more comfortable, warm setting, the two held Johanna under the showerhead. They flipped her over so that her back would get cleaned. After a while, it was decided that they were tired of holding Johanna, so they dropped her to the floor.

Cressida held her face under the water. "You know, we didn't spit on you."

"Yeah, and I don't ambush you, drag you to the bathroom, and hold you under a hot stream of water." Johanna tried to crawl away.

"Where are you going?" said Katniss.

"Aren't we done?" said Johanna.

"No," said Katniss. "We've still got to do the shampoo and scrub you down."

"Great." Johanna rolled her eyes. This time Johanna offered little resistance. She went along with Katniss and Cressida, even stripping down for them.

"Okay." Katniss turned to Cressida. "You scrub her down and I'll do the shampoo."

Cressida did as she was told, though not without some grumbling. When she got to Johanna's armpits, it looked like she was going to puke. "This is disgusting. You're disgusting."

"Really?" said Johanna. "'Cause you're getting a little too touchy feely with me."

"Can you please try not to make this awkward?" said Katniss. "Is that too hard for you?"

"If you insist." Johanna proceeded to rub up against Katniss.

"Thanks." Katniss grit her teeth. Finally they got done with scrubbing down Johanna. Cressida gave her a towel to dry off. Johanna did this, but not after she took the opportunity to whip her with the towel.

"Look," said Katniss. "This wasn't easy for us either."

"I know," said Johanna. "I must have put you through hell."

"Huh, that almost sounded sincere," said Katniss.

"It did, didn't it?" Johanna grabbed the shampoo bottle and squirted it into Katniss's eyes. She then turned her attention to Cressida. Cressida went to cover her face, but she wasn't fast enough. The two fell to the floor, rubbing their eyes. "Oh, and for your information, we're no where close to even."

Johanna walked out of the bathroom. Katniss turned on the shower and put her face under the water. Once she had gotten the shampoo out of her eyes, she spoke to Cressida. "So, same time tomorrow?"


	2. Chapter 2

Cressida and Katniss nervously looked towards Johanna, who sat at a bench, sharpening her axe. Katniss took a deep breath and stepped forward. "Hey Jo."

"Hey Brainless." Johanna lifted her axe. "Does this look sharp to you?"

"I can't really tell from right here," said Katniss.

"I can give it to you," said Johanna. "Just stand still."

"How 'bout you don't?" said Katniss. "Hey, do you like cupcakes?"

"Where are you going with this?" said Johanna.

"Well we just backed you a cupcake," said Katniss. "Didn't we?"

"Yes we did." Cressida held up a tray, with a chocolate cupcake on it. "You know, to say sorry for what we did to you the other day."

"Right," said Johanna.

Cressida placed the tray in front of Johanna. "So go ahead. Take a bite."

Johanna swiftly brought her axe down, slicing the cupcake in half. "You first."

"What?" said Cressida.

"You first," said Johanna. "I want to share my cupcake with you."

"But, that's not the point," said Cressida. "We made this cupcake for you."

"It's best not to argue with the person with the axe," said Katniss. "Eat it."

Cressida shot Katniss a dirty look, but she eventually ate the piece of cupcake Johanna had cut for her. "See?" said Katniss.

Johanna looked at Cressida. "Why aren't you swallowing?"

Cressida swallowed. "Happy now?"

"Yes," said Johanna.

"So are you gonna eat your cupcake now?" said Katniss.

"No," said Johanna.

"Why not?" said Katniss.

"I wasn't born yesterday," said Johanna. "Nice touch with the drugged cupcake. Why didn't you try that yesterday?"

"Why would you think we're trying to drug you?" said Katniss.

Johanna pointed to Cressida, who was starting to look a bit light-headed. "So you're telling me you didn't put something in the cupcake?"

"What?" said Cressida. "I'm perfectly..."

Cressida collapsed to the ground. "You were saying," said Johanna.

Katniss nervously shifted from side to side. "Look, you could have just eaten the cupcake and you'd have been fast asleep by now."

"That's comforting," said Johanna. "Being unconscious while people strip me naked and do god knows what to me."

"Fair enough," said Katniss.

Johanna inspected her axe. "You know, I wonder how sharp my axe is? Wanna help me check?"

"I get the hint." Katniss ran out as fast as she could, dragging Cressida with her.


	3. Chapter 3

Johanna was reclining in an armchair when Katniss stormed into the room, followed by Cressida. "Jo, did you steal me cupcake?"

"Maybe." Johanna licked some chocolate off her fingers. "What, did you not have time to spike it with tranquilizers?"

"Oh my god!" said Katniss. "That was just one time. Let it go."

"Are you going to stop trying to give me a bath?" said Johanna.

"We can't do that," said Cressida. "Have you smelled yourself lately?"

"Well if that's the case then," said Johanna. "I'm going to fight you every step of the way."

Katniss sighed. "Okay, let's try a different strategy. Jo, what would it take for you to take a bath?"

Johanna smiled mischievously. "Let's see. What would it take to get me to take a bath? Here, I'll only take a bath if you two bathe me."

"Okay," said Katniss. "Isn't that what we've been doing?"

"I'm not finished," said Johanna. "I'll only take a bath if you two bathe me naked."

"You're joking, right?" said Cressida. "You don't seriously want us to be naked when we bathe you?"

"You're right," said Johanna. "First I need to see how you guys look naked. Strip down."

"What?" said Johanna and Cressida.

"Yes," said Johanna. "I don't want any surprises."

"We aren't doing that," said Katniss.

"Fine," said Johanna. "I guess I'm not taking a bath then."

"Alright." Katniss began taking off her clothes and Cressida followed suit.

Johanna inspected the two. "Katniss, I'm liking what I see. Cressida, can you turn around?"

"Why?" said Cressida.

"I want to check out you ass," said Johanna.

Cressida did as she was told. "Happy now?"

"Yes actually." Johanna admired Cressida's backside for awhile. "Do you work out?"

"Whenever I can," said Cressida.

"Huh, well it shows," said Johanna. "Okay, let's start with bathing."

"Right now?" said Katniss.

"Yeah." Johanna motioned towards the showers. "C'mon, while I'm still in the mood."

"Um...in the mood?" said Katniss.

"In the mood for a bath." Johanna led the two to the showers and got ready for her bath. "Okay, you two go in first."

"Why?" said Katniss. "Are you going to run away once we're in the shower?"

"No," said Johanna. "I don't want to miss this."

Katniss and Cressida got in the shower and turned on the water. Katniss looked to Johanna. "Will you come in now?"

"Alright." Johanna joined the two under the hot water. Cressida poured some shampoo on Johanna's hair and rubbed her scalp. Johanna felt a rough tug on her hair. "OWWWW!"

"Sorry," said Cressida. "It was an accident."

Johanna turned her attention to Katniss. She held up a sponge and handed it to her. Katniss gave Johanna a confused look. "What's that for?"

Johanna rolled her eyes. "What do you think brainless?"

Katniss grit her teeth, but took the sponge. "I'm going to do this, but you're going to get a bath everyday."

"I'm looking foreward to it." Johanna watched as Katniss got the sponge wet and prepared to daub Johanna's shoulder. Johanna shuddered as the sponge touched her skin. She closed her eyes, excited as Katniss brought the sponge to her chest. Johanna let out a groan. She opened her eyes and looked at Katniss, who had somehow changed back into her clothes. "Wait? Why aren't you naked?"

"Hey Jo. How was the cupcake? Not too much tranquilizer I hope," said Katniss right before she hit Johanna over the head.


	4. Chapter 4

Cressida peered around the compound. She looked back at Katniss who was standing over a hose. "She's coming."

Katniss picked up the hose. "Okay, get ready."

"Will do." Cressida ran over to the spigot and prepared to turn on the water.

"Remember," said Katniss. "Wait till we've got her in our sights. Once she's turned the corner, then you can turn on the water."

"Got it," said Cressida.

The two stood there in anticipation. They didn't have to wait long. Soon Johanna had turned the corner, wearing a confused look as she saw the two. "Guys, what are you doing?"

"Giving you a bath." Katniss aimed the hose at Johanna. She smiled as she heard the sound of Cressida turning on the water. This smile disappeared as she was hit by a sudden stream of water that shot out of the body of the hose. Katniss dropped the hose in shock. She turned to Cressida, who was also soaking wet. Katniss looked at the hose and realized someone had poked a bunch of little tiny holes in it, so that water would shoot out of it and hit whoever was holding the hose. Katniss looked at Johanna. "You did this!"

Johanna smiled. "Yeah, I did."

"Bu...but how?" said Katniss.

"You talk in you sleep," said Johanna.

"Oh," said Katniss.

Johanna went to walk away, but turned around. "Since we're talking about your sleep talking, why do you keep yelling Gale's name and want him to-"

"Uh uh uh uh uh that's not really important," said Katniss.


End file.
